Some honest thoughts about the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival
I’m back from Harrogate - my fifth trip to the annual Theakston’s Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival (not ‘Crime Festival’ as I have a habit of calling it and thus confusing / alarming my non-writing friends).
As always, I am exhausted. I don’t really drink much these days, so I don’t have a hangover, but I’ve recently heard about the concept of a ‘social hangover’ so I’d like to claim one of those please?
Anyway, as usual, I had the best time. I wasn’t lying when I sung the praises of Harrogate in a previous post last year.
However…
Another word I’ve become rather fond of recently is ‘ambivalent’. And I feel that it’s the perfect adjective to describe my feelings about the overall Harrogate experience.
The famous Harrogate tent
I’ve been scrolling through social media posts today, taking in all the hundreds of pictures of authors in Betty’s, authors in the tent, authors in the big green chair, authors draped around the large metal HARROGATE letters… and it’s all so wholesome and everyone looks so happy and look, I’m JUST as guilty of sharing my own ‘highlight reel’… but I can well imagine that if you weren’t in any of the pictures, or you weren’t able to make Harrogate this year, that seeing all that stuff might make you feel really down.
My own Harrogate highlight reel. Not pictured: my 3am existential crisis that resulted in me downloading Big Magic - AGAIN
I was feeling really weird when I woke up on Saturday morning after two nights of non-stop author-and-publishing talk. So weird in fact that I took to Instagram to share my thoughts.
I set the post so that only my ‘Close Friends’ could read it (I find this a really weird name btw, as my particular list consists of basically anyone I know is a real person - as you may have gathered, I’m really not that private).
But now I feel like actually, I’d be happy to share those thoughts to a wider audience.
So here they are.
Things I love about Harrogate
Proper, interesting conversations with small groups of lovely, clever people
Catching up with people I don’t get to see that often
Change of scenery / break from mumhood
The headspace to think about my career differently
The long train journey alone
Betty’s
Betty’s you have my heart!
Things I don’t love
Weird social hierarchies I don’t understand
Watching people ‘work’ the tent to find people ‘worth’ talking to
Small talk, small talk, small talk 😬🔫
Not being able to sleep because I’m away from home
Worrying I’ve said the wrong thing
Worrying I’ve ignored someone by accident
Worrying I’ve missed talking to someone
Feeling like even though I’m AT the festival, I’m STILL being left out of stuff (how come all those authors I know ended up going to the karaoke together without me!? 😭)
Those are my particular awkward feelings. But I know from talking to other authors that there are many more species of feelings that being in Harrogate throws up.
Those social media pictures really don’t tell the whole story.
What you don’t see in all those shiny, happy pictures is all the social anxiety that’s inevitable when you get a bunch of introverts together and shove them all in a big tent for three days.
What you don’t see are all the people doing quick turns to avoid publishers / agents who have rejected / made a mess of publishing their books.
What you don’t see are all the midlist authors who were once promising debuts now left feeling like stale old bread as a new barrow-load of fresh meat is wheeled in and given publicist-chaperones and limited-edition proofs and signing events and panel-spots.
What you don’t see are all the authors desperately trying to get introduced to one of the Hot Shot Authors, in the hope of getting a selfie with them and boosting their own profile by proxy.
What you don’t see is the crippling anxiety that so many authors feel as they take a deep breath and leave their hotel room alone to face The Tent, crossing fingers that they’ll see a friendly face quickly and won’t be left dithering around the periphery, desperately looking for someone to talk to.
What you don’t see are all the authors who write brilliant books and have interesting things to say wondering when exactly it’s going to be their turn to be on a panel.
What you don’t see are all the authors secretly reevaluating their careers in the face of everything they see / hear / learn from being in the Harrogate melting pot.
What you DEFINITELY don’t see are all the authors who would love to be there but simply CANNOT AFFORD IT, because let’s be real here, those two nights cost me nearly £500 in hotel, train fares and food.
What you also don’t see are all the authors who would love to be there but have too many responsibilities elsewhere and who feel sad / frustrated / concerned that not being there is going to negatively impact their career in some way.
I’m not sure what the point of this post is really, except to say that if you’re feeling a bit shit after seeing all the Harrogate social media frenzy, then you’re not alone.
I absolutely love the festival, and I fully intend on going next year! I 100% believe that we authors need our author peers / friends and I love being able to see so many in one place.
But I’m not going to pretend that being at the festival doesn’t bring out a ton of weird feelings for me every year too. At times, it can feel like a massive popularity contest (I heard someone say this weekend that it’s like being back at school).
So if that’s you too, then rest assured you’re not alone. ❤️
PS one last thought - if you’re on the train up to Harrogate and you work in publishing, please don’t assume that the person sitting AT THE SAME TABLE SEAT AS YOU doesn’t also have some connection to the business and isn’t listening to every single word you say.
It’s probably best to be a bit more discreet next time, you know? 💀😂
