Some honest thoughts on writing out of contract
I recently finished the second draft of my latest novel - my eleventh novel that I’ve written (I read somewhere that to become a ‘master’ at writing you need to have written a million words and I reckon I’ve surpassed that now - can someone send me a certificate please *needy for validation*?!)
If you follow me on Instagram you might remember that I decided to write a very short shitty first draft of this book before Christmas. In around five weeks I wrote a 60k draft. (Really loved doing a short first draft by the way - highly recommend this technique!).
The idea for the book had come to me unbidden and I’d recently listened again to Big Magic. And even though the idea didn’t fit into any neat boxes / plans / commercial aspirations I had for my career, it wouldn’t leave me alone and so I figured it really, really wanted to be written.
So I wrote it and then I’ve spent the time since Christmas re-writing it, ending up with an 84k draft that’s pretty readable but definitely still needs a ton of work.
Now, midway through writing my second draft, I started to get a bit antsy.
There was a little voice in my head that wouldn’t leave me alone.
It kept saying things like:
This book is nothing like your other books. This book is too personal. No-one is going to want to buy this. Your main character is so unsympathetic. This is a really bad use of your time. It’s not going to make you any money. You should be spending this time marketing your web design business, woman. You’re going to write this and no one is going to buy it. If you must write another bloody book, you should be writing another thriller instead, and trying to re-contract. Or something that has more commercial appeal. Romantasy’s the thing at the moment. You need to write one of those or you’re never going to get another book deal! Why are you doing this!? Why are you WASTING YOUR TIME!? Time is the only resource you can’t get more of, IDIOT!
You know, all the normal stuff that you say to yourself when you’re writing a book 🙃 #we’reallmad
In order to alleviate my antsy-ness, I emailed my agent and we chatted about me potentially sending her a chunk of the book so that she could tell me whether or not it was worth continuing with.
We also briefly discussed her trying to sell it on a partial just so I could be sure that writing it would be ‘worth my while’ - even though the last time I did this it was a disaster (another long story that I will no doubt share soon!).
My agent is awesome and was more than happy to read it or not read it, depending on what I preferred.
But something held me back from sending it to her.
I was so torn by the decision. My heart was telling me to keep writing the book regardless, and my head was telling me that I shouldn’t continue without the stamp of approval from my agent.
There’s something so vulnerable about a work in progress, isn’t there? It’s like a pre-term baby, not yet ready to be exposed to the outside world.
So I asked people in my trusty writer group whether or not they shared their WIPs with their agents. And the replies were really interesting - it was probably a 50/50 split between people who did and people who didn’t.
I ummed and ahhed a bit more and in the end I decided not to send it over. I decided to listen to my heart for once.
To be honest, I was enjoying writing it too much and I didn’t want anyone to tell me to stop!
Writing out of contract vs writing under contract
This book is the first book I have written out of contract for more than three years, and it’s got me thinking a lot about the hugely different experience of writing under contract and writing without one.
All novelists start off writing out of contract. That first book you write is a secret project just for you and you alone, and the reason you write it is because you love writing and the story rattling around your head won’t leave you in peace and basically, you can’t resist.
The first novel you write is a bit like a clandestine love affair; full of heartache and longing and obsession.
Because let’s face it, no one is going to spend all those hours chained to their laptops without any promise of reward, financial or otherwise, unless they are truly obsessed.
(Can I reiterate here just how long books are? 😱 I mean, writing a book is a serious achievement.)
But once the unthinkable happens and you get a book deal or you decide to publish your book, everything about the experience of writing a book changes.
And I mean, EVERYTHING.
You now have stakeholders: readers, editors, retailers, agents to consider. Their opinions suddenly matter.
You need to start thinking strategically in every sense: about your author brand and your readership and your marketing and a million other things.
You also need to think long and hard about how you’ll feel when strangers read your words. Do you really want to bare your soul quite so much? In the editing process, you might find yourself trimming back some of the parts that feel a little too personal, a little too raw, cringing at the thought of people you know reading it.
Your book being published changes your relationship with it completely.
And if you get a two-book deal, the experience of writing your second book will be completely different again.
Now, you’ll find yourself worrying that the second book won’t live up to the first. You’re probably on a tighter deadline, and you’ll be doing edits for your first book at the same time. Edits that will open your eyes even wider to how your work is perceived by others, and have you second-guessing everything you write in the next book.
All of this stuff does, to some extent, sadly take the shine off the writing, which was the thing you loved in the first place, right?
But that’s the job. That’s the career path. That’s the DREAM, and everyone on the outside is looking at you in admiration.
The stability of writing under contract
I know authors who have signed eight-book deals. They want the security and they want to see a long-term investment from their publisher. They want to build an author brand, and a readership. They want to hit the bestseller lists.
I know authors who are very nervous about writing books out of contract. They see their writing as a job, their career as a business, and they don’t want to waste time writing something that won’t sell or make them any money.
And I completely get it.
Just because we can write books, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a Herculean task. Such a huge amount of work goes into writing a novel, and I for one am certainly guilty of not always appreciating that.
(for eg: I spent one day recently intensely editing this new draft - six hours of focus with no break, 8000 words pored over and written or re-written, and then I wondered why I felt so tired in the evening 🫠).
If we’re going to put all this work in, then surely we need to know that we’re going to get something back for it at the end.
And yet, and yet… there’s something so magical, and so freeing about writing a book out of contract.
While it will never be exactly the same as writing that very first novel, before you had an agent or a publishing deal or even a beta reader, it’s the closest thing to taking back control (sorry to anyone still suffering from Brexit PTSD) that you can get once you’ve opened Pandora’s Box and had a book published.
I have LOVED writing this book out of contract, with the door firmly closed to the world.
It has reminded me why I love writing, and it has given me the freedom to be creatively ambitious in a way I definitely wouldn’t have been if it’d felt like I was writing with my agent or editor sitting on my shoulder.
And the irony of my fears is that last time I wrote a book out of contract, I felt exactly the same way, and… that book landed me a six-figure deal in America.
Of course, correlation isn’t causation, but I do think it’s important to take the time to write the book that’s calling to you, even if it ISN’T in your ‘author career plan’.
Writing and money
Something else I have realised is that it’s so much better to be writing without financial pressure.
I’ve blogged before about my year of writing full-time and how it sent me mad, but again writing a novel you don’t want to write under contract because you desperately need the money is horrendous.
Why I hated writing full-time →
Forcing the words out to meet a deadline because you need the next slice of your advance to pay your bills is a miserable way to live and a miserable way to write, too.
There are much easier ways to make money.
I’m a professional person and I take my writing career seriously. But - without wanting to sound really wanky - writing fiction is an art not a business and it’s very difficult to force it.
If you can find a way to provide for yourself financially outside of your writing, then I promise you you will be a better writer for it.
(This is not to say I don’t agree that writers should be better paid!)
Remember: writing is its own reward
Finally, and I’m sorry to repeat myself again because I know I’ve said this a million times, but writing this book out of contract has once again reminded me that writing is its own reward.
I have loved writing this random, mad book. It’s reminded me why I write, why I always wanted to write, and it’s held my interest in a way that some of my other books just haven’t.
I have no idea if it will ever get published, but I do know that it was worth writing either way. It has satisfied my creative itch and allowed me to spread my wings a little and experiment with my writing. It’s also been good therapy (the topic is pretty personal).
It has added at least 100k words to my tally (hello mastery!) and it’s taught me things I didn’t expect - the way all books teach you something as you write them.
So even if it never gets read by anyone other than me and my agent, I know now that it was worth all the time it took me to write it.
If you have a book idea that’s calling you but that doesn’t fit into the mould you’ve developed for yourself as a ‘career’ author, please can I encourage you to find some time to write it?
I promise you it will be worth the effort 😊
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